Friday, March 19, 2004

Strange Stories on the Grapevine

Where would we be without the Fox News and Brit Hume’s Grapevine? Every night I sit down to watch Special Report with Brit from 6 to 7 PM, and I never miss the most telling, riveting, interesting, two minutes in news (the adjective changes every night). Mr. Hume’s Grapevine contains in a nutshell all of that news you just can’t do without; and there are three stories in particular that caught my eye in the last few days. For your convenience I will write about them bellow.

First: Democratic Presidential Candidate John Kerry has recently made claims that he has the support of many foreign leaders, who looked him in the eye and told him that they wanted Bush to loose in the worst way. When pressed to name some of these foreign leaders by an inquisitive Republican at a Kerry fundraising speech, Kerry said that he couldn’t give names, for fear of betraying the confidence of those leaders. In other words, he has been caught making an unsubstantiated claim. Now, you can go to Ebay.com, and bid on a “Bogusonia Foreign Leader Endorsement” which is available at the current bid of $59. The description says in part, “This offer is not to be confused with any other auction by fake foreign leaders who are making exaggerated claims in the hope of making a fast buck on Ebay. I am not doing this for the money (well, not entirely for the money anyway) I am doing it out of principal because I believe that the presumptive Democratic nominee is the best chance for better relations between Bogusonia and the U.S. I am the real McCoy, a true foreign leader, and I have a number of other foreign leaders who will vouch for me, but I just am not able to provide their names to you because I think it's important to protect our confidential discussions, so you'll just have to take my word for it.” I think we can all thank both Mr. Kerry and the unnamed leader of Bogusonia for their honesty and openness in dealing with this issue.

Second: An artist in France mistook a man on the street for Osama Bin Laden and tried to run him over with his car. He missed, and has been ordered to pay a $615 fine (which is light, considering that he was trying for vehicular manslaughter). The artist’s lawyer defends him, saying that he was the “victim of a hallucination” and adds, “If it were [bin Laden] we would have won five million dollars.” The only two foreign countries that this could possibly have happened in are France, and California.And finally: English subject Steven Dowling was found guilty of murder in 1974, and was serving his sentence up until a few weeks ago, when a court overturned his conviction. Mr. Dowling is now a free man…almost. The UK’s Home Secretary David Blunkett is asking the courts for the right to hand Mr. Dowling a bill totaling over $150,000 – to pay for 27 years of government-provided room and board. A Home Office spokesman called the plan a “reasonable course of action.” Mr. Dowling is, of course, a left-winger.

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